So I’m back… It’s been a while and all that.
Spring is slowly turning into summer and I feel a bit more alive again… Spring is always tough for me – the more light outside the darker my moods get. This spring was unusually hard – that’s why I haven’t been writing. It would have taken too much extra energy.
I’m not sure why spring does that to me. Every year I just feel miserable. Sometimes it lasts a week or two, at other times it can go on for months. This year it started in late February and dragged on until May… And even then the misery comes in waves – there are better and worse days and weeks.
Most of the time I’ve been feeling very tired. I haven’t had energy to do anything more than what is required. I’ve been eating junk, not exercising, not studying (even though I’m finally taking the business law course…), not caring about work. I’ve been putting on weight that just makes me feel worse. I haven’t taken care of my business. Last week was the first time this year when I took out my silversmithing tools – because I had a custom order for a pendant! But the whole spring I have been having serious doubts about being able to make it as a self-employed craftsperson. I’ve felt that everything I make is maybe mediocre at best, comparing myself to people who have been doing this for years… Or to those who joined Etsy at the same time I did and have had a hundred sales since…
It’s difficult to work for something I don’t even believe in.
This spring there has been an added bonus to make life difficult. J. and I have been trying for a baby for quite some time now, with no success. There are some medical issues – the doctors are trying to find out what is going on. There are tests to be done… I’m hoping that things will get sorted ot easily but we’ll see.
So that’s why you haven’t seen me lately. I’m back now, though, and I have some a few months’ worth of new stiches to show. At least I’ve kept up with that learning process… 🙂