I’m feeling frustrated with life today.

I get these moments every now and then… Especially now that I’m approaching my 30th birthday. I’m looking back, thinking of everything I was dreaming of ten years ago, and thinking how far I am from it…

I was supposed to be the one who defies all the rules of tradition. I was supposed to be the one who spends her life backpacking in the developing world, fundraising for non-profits or living as a missionary… The unconventional, unrealistic, unreasonable one.

But here I am… Far away from home but still in the Western, comfortable world. Married (which is not bad – I did find a man of my dreams and did not settle for anything less) and dreaming of owning a house, starting a family… Working random jobs that I’m more or less excited about… Trying to run a business that I’m not sure I believe in… Nothing like I was supposed to be at 30.

The question I’m trying to answer is: Is it OK? Can it not be a bad thing that life is different that anticipated? Should I feel like I’ve lost something – or should I feel like I’ve gained something I never expected? I’m not sure about the answer right now.


4 thoughts on “Mood

  1. I know what you mean. It’s difficult to accept when things turn out differently than we hoped. Then someone comes along and says “Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” And it’s annoying because it’s true.
    I think it’s okay to feel like you’ve both lost and gained. The good news is, sometimes the new ideas and experiences a spouse brings your way are so much greater than anything you could have imagined alone.
    Take care. 🙂

    • Thanks Jen. 🙂 It’s so true… Sometimes it’s too easy to see all the things that didn’t happen but totally miss the ones we didn’t even expect to happen.

  2. Joo, tuu mulle toihin. 🙂 Tai ma voisin tulla sulle toihin, tai jotain…

    Hammenna vaan lukijoita. Aiti ainakin ymmartaa. 🙂

  3. Tuota on liikkeellä, liekö mullakin tulossa kolmenkympin kriisi…? Tai ainakin kahenkymmenen seittemän 😀 Mustahan piti tulla teatteripuvustaja ja yleinen käsityöläinen, eikä koskaan, ikinä alkaa akateemiseksi. Yliopistot on turhia paikkoja missä vaan lorvitaan. (Paitsi ehkä taikissa, sinnehän mä ehdin jo harkita.) Ja jos vauhti pysyy tämän hetkisenä olen alle vuoden päästä hum. kand. Voiko olla turhempaa…? Varsinkin kun edelleen nautin melkein eniten ompelemisesta. Saanko mä tulla sulle töihin?

    (Kiva aiheuttaa hämmennystä muunkielisille lukijoillesi >:) hehe)

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